Courageous Leaders Blog

While engaging in a conversation with a colleague we explored whether the time is ever right to be courageous? Will you ever be well enough prepared to be courageous in your conversations, your decisions and your actions? It reminded me of the dilemma many face when starting a family - is it the right time to have children - do we have enough money saved, do we have a big enough house, are we ready emotionally, are we getting too old? Ultimately most of us who eventually made the decision to proceed would agree there is never a "right" time to have children.

Leap in, allow yourself to BE vulnerable and most importantly relinquish the need for control. This is what gets in the way of most people wanting to action the value of courage. Leaders in particular can let ego, control and power get in their way - far easier to claim we are just not ready yet. In my experience you can never be ready. I facilitate workshops to guide people in being courageous - and naturally I need to role model what courage looks and sounds like.

I believe people too often claim the time is not right because they don't feel ready to engage in the conversations or make the behavioural choices to demonstrate courage. This is an important distinction to make - differentiate right time from being ready! The reason I say this is that the time is very often right and the excuse is used because the leader or person does not feel ready. They do not feel like they will have control.

I can honestly say that I have never felt ready in the moment, to be courageous. My heart still pounds, I still question whether I should engage in the conversation or take the action - and it takes great discipline to stop myself from using the excuse of the time not being right. It has nothing to do with time and everything to do with the feeling of readiness.

Return to the metaphor of having children - and it is nothing to do with the time and everything to do with feeling ready - because we lose control, for many we relinquish power and our ego can certainly take a bashing. Exactly the same in business for leaders.

Recognise when you rely on the excuse of time, appreciate you might never feel ready and then challenge yourself to unleash the courage to do it and say it in the moment.

As a leader wanting to facilitate courage in action with your team requires real conversations and very real sharing.  Invite people to do this, make it safe for them to do it and you find out the obstacles and the fears they harbour to being courageous. Engage in this kind of conversation and you find many people fear "rocking the boat." So much safer and easier to go with the flow. I love the way Margie Warrell  acknowledges this in her book: Find your Courage:

"We stay silent, keep our thoughts to ourselves, and avoid all danger of rocking the boat. Ultimately we choose the certainty of never resolving an issue because of the possibility that our conversation won't produce the outcome we want."

These unsaid things impact on the quality of our relationships, the performance of the team and the level of engagement. Leaders need to support their people to find ways to make it expected and acceptable for everyone to be courageous - this is where my talking in draft concept fits well. I have talked about this in previous BLOGs.  This means talking out loud the thoughts and feelings that pop into your mind and heart - without the need to polish them, because you don't feel concerned about how you might be judged.

It means you agree to tell the truth and share openly with each other. It means you agree to receive what others say with the intent to think the best of the other person and come with a mindset of curiosity. Stop worrying about polishing your thoughts and checking out your feelings in case they are not "right". Feelings are yours and they are always "right" for you! Learn to be present with them. Learn to acknowledge them and appreciate the importance of them.

People don't want to look and feel silly so instead they remain silent and we lose them and their input. What fear and what a suit of armour we laden ourselves with to protect ourselves from the perceptions of others. Be courageous and stop this kind of behaviour.

What if you actively encouraged everyone to step up and be vulnerable with each other and realise the value of rocking the boat in a constructive way.

We need more courageous leaders to actively encourage their team members to rock the boat.

I recently read an article written by Daniel Goleman about "bonding and creating high performance" and I also started a conversation in our LinkedIn Courageous Leaders Group and it has resulted in a deeper exploration.


The article brilliantly explored a critical factor facing managers and leaders every day – their belief in the importance of both “being liked" by the members of their team; and “to like” each person in their team. As we undertake this exploration try differentiating liking you as a person from liking you as a team member or team leader. When we take it to a highly personal level then we can lose objectivity; and divert from our purpose and even build our relationships from inappropriate bases. We often find ourselves going to the opposite side of the spectrum when talking about the importance of “liking” – we go to the other end of exploring what happens when we either dislike others or are disliked by people in the team. And it can be this positioning that drives us to consider being liked as important!

I have regularly maintained you do not need to be best friends with the people you work with, and now is the time to explore that maybe you don't even need to "like" them or have them like you.

Start by defining “like” – and you find the word replacements of – enjoy, similar, resembling, adore, fond of, appreciate and delight in. Look up “dislike” and you find the words of – aversion, hatred, repugnant, loathing and detest. No wonder we want to shift toward “like” and away from “dislike”.

However we humans have a habit of swinging from one end of the pendulum to the other without finding our core – so let’s explore what this core IS and I believe Goleman eloquently enunciates it in his article as:


1. Ensuring people feel they belong (and this can happen in a myriad of ways and has nothing to do with feeling liked....and everything to do with feeling valued and feeling significant)

2. Showing respect for each other as individuals - who may be very different from you and at times even though you may feel you don't like them you can still respect them for what they bring to the team – sometimes you will endure conflict and find the interactions trying and difficult and therefore you wouldn’t use the word like and yet you would not go so far as to say dislike………there is the core that you want to find! Respect and appreciate you do not need to like – this is the limiting belief you need to surpass to find this core.

3. Supporting and trusting each other by being real and authentic and sharing how tough it is to engage with each other – and this is so much deeper than liking!

Through the exploration on our LinkedIn Group with some wonderful colleagues I feel like I have managed to shift my thinking into another space. The core is clear and I am shifting away from needing people to like me……..I have a strong core and a belief that I AM good enough.

I engaged in a few conversations recently about the link between courage
and business outcomes. What is the business benefit of engaging more
courageously with each other?

When people hold themselves personally accountable to turn up more
courageously then conversations are different - they are more open, more
real, more challenging and ultimately result in improved:

1. Decisions - higher quality, greater speed, willingness to diverge
before they converge into a final decision and higher levels of buy in
to implement and embrace the decisions

2. Engagement - when people are real with each other and share openly
there is heartfelt connection and people bring themselves completely to
the resulting actions and activities

3. Intellectual application to business issues - when people are
enCOURAGEd to bring their thoughts, ideas and feelings openly and in a
very real way then you are leveraging the intellect of each person and
this adds up to far greater intellectual capability than just that of
the boss - it is simple mathematics!

4. Innovation and entrepreneurial thinking - because people are actively
invited to think outside the box and test the boundaries without fear of
retribution, labelling and judgement

5. Collaboration - increased speed at which people work together to
achieve a result in an innovative way, while feeling inspired and
engaged. Ultimately this provides a competitive advantage in the market
place.

And it all starts by bringing personal accountability for being
courageous. It works quicker and with greater success when it is
initiated and lead from the top - the existing leaders.

My initial and quick thoughts demonstrate the business outcomes for
putting courage into action are significant.

We explored this recently: people want to feel significant in their roles, in their organisation and in their lives - and do we know what makes people feel significant?

Courageous Leaders invest the time and energy to discover what makes each individual in their team feel significant. When was the last time you found out what makes each person in your team, in your family and in your life.......feel significant?

While engaging in a conversation with some of our participants about what makes them feel significant - it got me thinking: what makes me feel significant as a facilitator of leadership development programmes?

Ask yourself the question - what makes me feel significant? - and then be surprised by the depths at which you have to go to come up with an authentic response.

The question brought out my values at a deep level.  My top value is gratitude and after some reflection I was able to establish that for me to feel significant, I need words of gratitude in an authentic and heartfelt way about the difference my involvement has made. It is simple and relatively easy to do from a client perspective and does not cost money.

And to my surprise after participating in this conversation I received two lovely emails from two different clients doing just that.........and I felt significant, I felt recognised and valued. I felt I had made a difference and contributed to the organisational change being experienced. What an amazing feeling it is too!! It spurs your passion, your commitment to the end goal and to keep contributing exceptional value to people who are grateful for your efforts.

Significance rarely costs leaders or others anything other than the time and energy it takes to appreciate, show gratitude and recognise - and generally this is done through a real conversation! If it is so "simple" why do so many leaders find it so hard to do?

Too many leaders focus on the hard edge of leading - task orientation - and dismiss the soft edge of leading - people orientation; as the warm and fuzzy stuff that is not essential. In all honesty though, I think they  find it too hard to engage in a real conversation where the significance of people is recognised.  It is uncomfortable, it is embarrassing or at worst they deem it unnecessary because after all aren't they just doing their job?

 I find that very sad - human connection and personal gratitude - the personal cost to give it is so small and yet the personal reward to receive it is so great. So make a conscious effort to make those around you feel significant!

Now I can almost hear a groundswell of people challenging me - that people create their own reality and therefore their own feelings of significance. It shouldn't be up to the leaders to do this I hear you say.

I believe it is critical we recognise our "human condition" - and the need for feeling significant and how it is fuelled through external feedback. That's the simple reality - most of us are not well enough evolved and transformed to feel significant without such encouragement and involvement.

Courageous Leaders make people they interact with feel significant!

In this fortnightly series, Alison Glynn-Baker discusses some key concepts in Mandy Holloway’s book, ‘Inspiring Courageous Leaders’.  She also poses some provocative questions.  We invite you to provide your opinion and join the discussion.

 

Never, "for the sake of peace and quiet," deny your own experience or convictions.
- Dag Hammarskjold (1905-1961), United Nations Secretary-General and posthumous recipient of a Nobel Peace Prize

When Dag Hammarskjold died in a plane crash at the age of 56, he had, in his role as United Nations Secretary-General, tackled some of the toughest international issues of his time. These included Arab-Israeli Relations, the Suez Crisis and the Congo Crisis.

Once you’ve established the confidence that your leadership mastery empowers you to make the right choices, you need conviction in your leadership mastery.

What is conviction?  Mandy defines it in her book as a “deep-seated belief that certain choices are right for you”.  These can be choices about how you integrate your authentic self with your work. How you lead.  But without passion, your conviction will waver as soon as you think your choice is unpopular.  How far will you go to stand your ground?  Will you accept the consequences?

Acting without conviction has its advantages, of course. It’s easier to get on with your day job if you’re not spending energy defending your ground.  You may be better-liked in the short-term, by your peers, but not necessarily by those you lead.  You may, initially, be the “right sort” of leader for a market or company obsessed with the bottom-line.

Two unsettling things may happen, though, if you act without conviction:

1.      Guilt.  Female leaders in particular feel torn between advancing professionally and bringing up their children, and Mandy talks about her own experience.  There is no right answer, but unless, as a leader, you may make a decision which absolutely feels right for you, you could spend your career either blaming your employer (or, worse, yourself) or feeling defensive.

2.      Wondering what might have been.  Mandy and I have met some very senior leaders who seem almost wistful about the choices they have made:

“It’s a real pity, I always wanted to travel.  But straight out of university, I took this job, and I’ve been here 20 years.”

“I’m sorry – our organisation just isn’t ready for you.”

Dag Hammarskjold was strongly opposed by a number of leaders for the UN’s policy in the Congo.  Among these was John F Kennedy, who then went on to say, after Hammarskjold’s death, “I realise now that in comparison to him, I am a small man. He was the greatest statesman of our century.”

It’s worth considering what might be lost if you don’t act on your convictions.   Think about what you can achieve if you do.

What’s wrong with corporate “peace and quiet”?  This is your chance to have your say.

 

Don't have a copy of Inspiring Courageous Leaders? Buy it now


About Alison Glynn-Baker: Alison Glynn-Baker has 15 years’ experience in professional services marketing, business development and operations.  Through her own consultancy, she has combined her two passions - training and writing – to help clients improve performance both personally and in business. 

"The greatest danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark." - Michelangelo.

I read this quote the other day and it got me thinking about the diversity of people I work with while facilitating the Courageous Leaders leadership development program each year..........and I concluded YES - this is so true. And then I reflected on me too and I thought YES - again.

We really need to start believing in our awesomeness as people, as human beings with so much untapped potential. Let's stop settling for mediocrity and lets aim high. Believe it, live it like it will happen and BOOM! It happens!! So many more of us need to aim so much higher than we currently do and overlay it with an abundance mentality. What a difference we would make to ourselves and within the world.

Instead we doubt, we run our "stories" and we become our worst own enemies! So, tell yourself to stop aiming low and start believing in your awesomeness. I am taking my own advice - so watch this space for my awesomeness to truly start shining with greater brilliance. And I would love to hear your personal stories of brilliance and awesomeness.

I worked with some people before sitting down to write this BLOG and we concluded the workshop by talking about being awesome - the energy in the room was brilliant and I know they are going forth with the courage to unleash this awesomeness on others within the business.

In this fortnightly series, Alison Glynn-Baker discusses some key concepts in Mandy Holloway’s book, ‘Inspiring Courageous Leaders’.  She also poses some provocative questions.  We invite you to provide your opinion and join the discussion.

 

“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by [those] who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare… Impossible is nothing.”  - Muhammad Ali

 

Nine = Infinity

Mandy talks about the sustainability conundrum.  How can a business achieve sustainability in terms of people, financials and the brand?  For example, it is tempting to cut investment in people when the world threatens to go into economic meltdown.  Some would say it is imperative.  But is it?

Impossible is nothing.  And possible is everything.  The nine components of the Courageous Leaders Model are positioned around the Infinity symbol.  This represents infinite personal and professional possibilities.   The potential to do business differently.  The potential to evolve as a leader on a journey of life-long learning.

 

   

Nine=Infinity. The Nine Elements of the Courageous Leaders Model

The rest of this blog series will explore Nine = Infinity in more detail.  Here is a quick introduction:

As an emerging leader, how do you build the courage and conviction to lead differently? The first of the nine components is leadership mastery:  embracing your best self and reaching mastery in relationships, the business and technically.

You build confidence in your leadership mastery by spending time in reflection.  One tool you can use is Edward de Bono’s Six Thinking Hats, which I will discuss later in the blog series.

Once you have confidence to make the right choices, how far will you go to put your leadership mastery into action?  Are you prepared to take full responsibility for the consequences? This is the concept of conviction.

As an emerging leader, once you have developed courage in your leadership mastery, you can overcome a fear of or indifference towards having necessary, challenging conversations with your existing leaders.

Both emerging leaders and existing leaders need the courage to connect and commit - to meet in the middle, on common ground.  As an emerging leader, you need to have the conviction to challenge the status quo.  Sometimes even challenging existing leaders.  And as an existing leader, you will need to unleash your courage to be challenged and to change.  What starts off as an intimidating wedge of fear for both parties becomes a ledge of learning, untapping that infinite potential we talked about earlier.

The next of the nine elements of the model is challenge and how we respond to it. It is critical to drop the defensive behaviours, manage our emotions and embrace conflict.

How we respond to change is critical for our life-long learning, and for the sustainability of a business.

The last of the nine elements of the Courageous Leaders model is a high-performance culture. In a high-performance culture, a united population of courageous leaders is engaged in constructive and supportive behaviours, and is running a business which is sustainable in the long-term.

Maybe by embracing all nine components in our journey towards becoming Courageous Leaders, we really can create infinite possibilities.  Is it impossible to make business about more than just the share price?  As a Courageous Leader, what else could be possible? This is your chance to have your say.

Don't have a copy of Inspiring Courageous Leaders? Buy it now


About Alison Glynn-Baker: Alison Glynn-Baker has 15 years’ experience in professional services marketing, business development and operations.  Through her own consultancy, she has combined her two passions - training and writing – to help clients improve performance both personally and in business.

 

 

I have had so many people tell me that leaders are born - they say you can see evidence of it when children play in the sand pit with their friends. People also blame their natural preferences on whether they were born to be a leader - I am just too quiet, I am introverted...................and all the other excuses we use to substantiate that we were not born to be a leader!

The more I have experienced, explored, read and researched the more I disagree with the claim that leaders are born. I strongly believe leaders are "made" - they work hard to develop the awareness and the capability to lead themselves; to lead others and to lead the business. Leaders bring a level of consciousness to their choices of behaviour, they bring awareness of how they can be at their best when working with others, they develop emotional resilience, they use tools to give and receive feedback. None of this is "natural" - it is not how you are
born.

Working with a group of "emerging leaders" a few years ago I recall one young woman telling me she was not leadership material - she did not believe that she fitted the mould, she was not born to be a great leader in her organisation. After working with her for one year as she participated in twelve one day modules learning HOW to be an effective and a courageous leader......this same young woman "believed" she could be a brilliant leader. She had developed the confidence and the conviction to be the kind of leader she really wanted to be. She was released from the limiting belief system she had developed that only a certain "kind" of person could be a leader in her organisation.

Leaders are made by supporting them to develop the confidence, conviction and courage to be the kind of leader they really want to be and the kind of leader the business needs them to be.

 

Got something to say about this topic? Please feel free to comment below, or join our similar discussion in the Courageous Leaders LinkedIn Group

What an insightful man Einstein was and I loved his sentiment when he shared with us that:

"Great spirits have always faced violent opposition from mediocre minds."

This captures the essence of what so often happens between the populations of emerging and existing leaders.

Wise words from Mandy: ignite that spirit, emerging leaders!

With such passion and belief that no amount of opposition can shout you down or bring you to a halt.

Is this easy to do? Absolutely not.

Does it take disciplined processes? Yes it does.